ShepherdTools.org

Ten Common Mistakes of Christian Counselors

Garrett Higbee and Robb Besosa of Twelve Stoneshave done an admirable job of summarizing ten key danger points for a Pastor when he is offering counsel. They are worth the read:

Download a_twelve_stones_case_study_how_to_avoid_10_common_mistakes_in_counseling.pdf

From www.twelvestones.org 

When Soldiers Return Home

When Soldiers Return Home

By  Judi Cosgriff • Jul 29th, 2008 • Category: Wellness

A nurse from Mt. Joy, PA. wrote an excellent article that is worth the time for every Pastor on this timely and important aspect of counseling:

“He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence; he will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, or the arrow that flies by day.” (Ps. 91:3-5)

 

No matter what your personal attitude toward war, one thing is certain, no one emerges unchanged, none more so than the soldiers and their families. This conflict is different in some ways, because National Guard and Reservists were called up from everyday lives (not from bases with some built-in support systems). As they return, tens-of-thousands will be dealing with the physical, emotional and spiritual trauma, and will be returning to families and communities in which life and its inevitable changes went on [for a while] without them. One of the determining factors in readjustment will be resilience – that ability to bounce back after life has been traumatized – those who possess it may fare better, because they have had a solid system of friends, family and community actively supporting them during deployment. For others, the road may be a bit more rocky. The church can be a powerful source of healing as veterans and their families make their transition into a “new normal” life. 

 

Many congregations have already laid the groundwork by supporting veterans and their families throughout their deployment with care packages, email, letters of encouragement, and prayer. Here are a few additional ideas for congregations to aid in becoming sources of assistance in transition:

 

• continue to pray for those deployed and those who are returning – praying for healing and wholeness in all aspects of their lives.
• consider inviting a military chaplain or representative from the Veterans Administration to educate the congregation regarding the needs of returning troops and their families, then compile a list of community resources that may help meet these needs (housing, job services, counseling, etc.)
• sponsor an event or events to bring together vets and families throughout the community, and provide childcare so adults can share their experiences and establish mutual support
• develop a special time of worship, thanking them for their service; consider incorporating a service of healing; reassure them of God’s unfailing love for them;
• pastoral staff should be intentional in outreach to the veteran; privately offer opportunity for confession and hearing God’s forgiveness. Become familiar with signs and symptoms of traumatic brain injury and be alert for signs of distress (lashing out, unable to focus, inability to complete tasks, self-medicating, depression, over-spending)
• because many deployments and re-entries occurred rapidly with little time for reflection, consider training trustworthy congregation members in being non-judgmental listeners; older veterans may be especially helpful since it may be easier to talk to someone who has “been there”; reflection and grieving are necessary steps toward healing
• at the same time, try not to overwhelm them– be mindful that there will be role adjustments, and relationships that require some renegotiation; trust may need to be re-established. Chaplain John Morris suggests that we “give them the same pastoral care you’d give a fire victims, a ministry of presence – meet practical needs, and be agents of grace and healing” (Veteran Ministry, Christianity Today, July 1, 2008).

 

Finally, you may want to check out “Returning Home from War” at www1.nmha.org/reassurance/, and “Beyond the Yellow Ribbon” at http://www.minnesotanationalguard.org/returning_troops/btyr_overview.php. for additional tips and suggestions. 

 

Judi Cosgriff, Parish Nurse, Trinity Lutheran Church
http://trinitymtjoy.org/wordpress/?p=269

Using Email Properly in the Church Communications

Because we have probably all experienced both "inbox anxiety" and its evil twin "e-exhaustion", we need some team rules as to the use of email that the staff and board all agree to. It is important to lay a foundation to our e-communication. Every team should take some time to form some basic policies and a script or "short hand" that will help the team communicate more smoothly. Here are rules I ask my colaborers to utilize.

Rule #1: If the team sends you a communication, it is for one of three reasons: We have a question that you can address (Q); we have a request for you to attempt to fulfill (REQ); or we have information you will require (FYI or INF). These should be in the subject line of the email, such as: “INF Time and place of Friday staff mtg.” Please send out emails that reflect in the subject line what you expect of the team member.

Rule #2: Sometimes you will want to cc or bcc team members. If you do, the subject line cannot reflect what you want for each person on the cc list. In that case, put at the bottom of the email, after offering your information a list of those you cc’d and what you expect from each of us as follows:

“Staff meeting is at RJ Gators at noon this Friday. The team leader for each department is required to attend.

Cc: Matt REQ: Please have new budget reports copied for distribution.

Cc: Aaron REQ: Please have pics of last trip ready for selection for website.

Cc: Dave REQ: Please have list of calls made this week and responses.”

Rule #3: Email is not IM (instant messaging), but neither is it delivery by slow moving lame camels. If you don’t respond in a timely manner, we all know you aren’t managing your time properly. Generally, we will communicate the time schedule for any REQ we make from you. If you know you can’t get to the issue on the email, send a quick e and tell the team that you anticipate being tied up until __ . Everyone will know that you got the communication and are putting it into the schedule of “future you”.

Rule #4: Keep it as short and sweet as possible. Short means using numbered points (in that way responses can follow the same format without rewriting the Qs). Sweet means, “Be careful of the tone.” Please is a normal word we use to ask for something. Email is a curt communication, but we try very hard to be civil and project how much we appreciate being on the team with each other. Speaking the truth must always be in love!

RDS

Letting people vote or poll online is free!

Another freebie on the web is a personal favorite. Because I serve on some fellowship committees, recently I have been a part of several conference calls and meetings where a group of individuals needed to coordinate schedules and "poll" each other on a good time to get together or call. "Doodle" is a free website where I can create the poll, ask my questions, send the link to my list of those involved, and watch responses in near real time.

How can I use this in a church? Let's say five couples want to go out on Friday night. We need a time and a place, right? I can send them a simple link with time choices and restaurant choices and "poll" them. That's a simple example, but think of how this can work on team based projects. What day of three is best for us to have the upcoming meeting? Is it better in the morning or afternoon? If you are spread out across the globe and you need a quick straw poll, this is your simplest answer. Go to www.doodle.ch and check this out! It is effective and fast. Yes, of course it is also FREE!

What if my board needs to vote on several important issues? I can set up a quick poll and have them go online and fill it out. The tallying will be automatic and quick. There are thousands of uses of this in a church!

RDS

How to Get the Preloaded Junk off the New Computer

Pastors buy computers from Office Max or Circuit City or some store just like it. They get it home, and open the box. They hook it up and start it up and discover something crazy. The whole computer is filled with free and trial software that is designed to get you to start spending more money. I just opened the box, and I haven't gotten a chance to do anything and I am stuck with this junk.

Back in April, I became aware of a piece of software called "PC Decrapifier" (a free download, suggested donation at http://www.pcdecrapifier.com/download ). The idea of the developer was to help the purchaser of a new computer to rid themselves of all the trial version software and nonsense that comes on the drive when the PC manufacturer ships it. Instead of simply using the Windows XP or Vista utility, this company came up with a way to allow you to eliminate all of the undesired software by choosing from a list and allowing the whole thing to clean up at one time (Windows makes you select each one individually). It is faster, more convenient, and free to download!

Don't get stuck with software someone wants you to buy, get rid of their stuff and load what YOU want!

RDS

Cheapest Domains

I have purchased a number of domain addresses (web addresses like www.myorgname.org) for churches and organizations at 1and1.com, a very large company with domain charges of $6.95 per year. Others use godaddy.com, but I have found their ads to be offensive to me and their charges higher. This is just a personal preference, but they have been fast, reliable and cheapest!

RDS

Free Software Pastors need to know about!

As a Pastor, I am always interested in a bargain. Good stewardship is both a Biblical value and (in many ministries) a forced reality. DON'T BUY SOFTWARE ANYMORE! My all time favorite free items include software I can use in ministry everyday:

1. Instead of Microsoft Office, there is a completely compatible FREE version at www.OpenOffice.org that works exactly the same way and has millions of users. Use this to make documents that can be saved as .doc files (and opened in Word seamlessly) or other applications (like Excel). The system has been tested as fully compatible with Microsoft, and found very reliable by many Pastors.

2. Blogger (www.blogger.com) will give you a free weblog. I use Typepad.com and pay, because I like the layout better. The bottom line is that you should have a quick way to post things online. A blog is a website that is pre-boxed so you can put things up quickly, concentrating on your content. I post every week's message notes, etc.

3. Google groups: (groups.google.com) you can create public or PRIVATE discussion groups. Teams can share thoughts on an idea that is only accessible by password. You can read, create and discuss policies, etc. without needing to be in the same place at the same time. Our Elders may be working on a document and all need access to make and see changes. Our staff may be developing a project that requires participation from multiple offices.

4. Google Reader (www.google.com/reader) lets you put on one page all the blogs and news sites you want to read without surfing around for them each day. You can select news articles only on specific topics that you want to read and it will collect them from all over. I read an RSS feed from New York Times, Washington Post and Miami Herald, but only on the sections I care about. They come to my email inbox and I can scan them for interesting articles without getting caught up in the whole paper. Who cares about the weather in New York if you like in Texas? Don't waste time leafing through the whole site.

5. Picasa (picasa.google.com) will organize all your pictures on the web. If you have a team book of photos, you can arrange to have as many people as you want upload their pictures of events for you to have to draw on when making publications and powerpoints, etc. Password it and you can keep an archive of the organization that is permanent. Church groups can upload pictures and you can all share the album in common on the web.

6. Google Calendar: (www.google.com/a) is one of the available options at Google Apps web. Every Pastor needs a calendar organizer, but this one allows you to blend any number of calendars for the whole staff or building use (vehicle use, etc). You can set up as many calendars, import the information from Outlook or start from scratch in minutes. Other google apps are Google Docs (word processing online where a whole group can access each file and revise it, keeping every former revision), and dozens of other applications.

We will post many more freebies as time goes on, but these are my personal favs.

RDS